you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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