don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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