How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
