So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
