North Korea, Best Korea!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
