why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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