Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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