Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
