If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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