p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
