the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
