she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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