Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
