why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
