are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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