Duck Duck Cougar?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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