Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
