Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
