She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
