i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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