yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
