Me too!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I got inside last night via doggy door
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
