If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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