Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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