I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
