How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i think i just lost a toe
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
