i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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