I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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