Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sext me about skeletons
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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