I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
