normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
