Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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