Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
