So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
