how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
