oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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