Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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