I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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