When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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