The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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