I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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