It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
