I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
