I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
