we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
