can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
