She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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