I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
