I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
