i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
