i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
